I often wondered. Hard.. Why do some people enter our life just to be gone in the next blink...? I mean, I lost more people than both my hands can count for, at least as far as I remember. And I still remember how tightly I hold on to some of them. But they slip away. And I too hold loose of them, but again, they too, slip away. Some of them, I tried to have them back in my life, kind of begging for them to stay, to never step from that door... but they too, are gone now. Some I dont even expect to be losing, not at a very young age...
It is not easy, you know. No matter how many times you already do it. No matter how many farewells you bid, no matter how many screams you shouted, telling them to never go, asking them to always stay, and they dont- it was never easy. The first one hurt like a motherfucker but the second one just isnt any easier. No matter how many times you lost them, they will still hurt you.
They say that time heals. Yeah it does. But the scars remain. You wont remember what they did, or how good they were, how you treasure all the memories you make with them. You wont remember that. Not after 2 years, not after 20 years. But you will always remember the pain they left you. You will always remember they pain you felt when they left you. You will sooner realize that "they left you". That will be the curse. They left you.
And I already dont remember how close I was to some of them. More like, I dont want to remember. But I know this, no matter how hard I try, I will never forget that pain. The pain they chose to make me feel. I wont forget how I cried all those tears. How I go through some sleepless night, staring at the ceiling, thinking how could they hurt me this much... How my heart ache.... I wont forget them. I really want to...
But that kind of hurts will make me even more cautious in choosing the next person who decided to walk again through that same door.
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