064- I once knew a man...


 There is this one, whom I know. A pious one, this man, I would say. Never misses his prayer five times a day, seven days a week. He got married with a loving lady, and was blessed by three wonderful daughters. He got everything right. He got a perfect family, a stable financial, a good job, a comfortable home. He was content. 



Until one day... God decided that he needed to be tested. God test this man with something unimaginable. 

He took his wife away, in his arm, on his lap. He took his wife, for his wife was his life. 
He took his younger brother away, due to terrible kidney failure. He took his brother, by troubling his bladder. 
He took his father away, gave him cancer 6 months prior. He took his father, for this was his leader. 

He didnt change. His routine didnt change. He still prays, he still pays his dues, he still managed his life. "I didnt change. This test doesnt change me..." or so he thought. He didnt realise there was a huge hole in his heart, caused by the loses of his loved ones. 

He began searching for means to fill up the hole. He started to hang out with his fellow widowed friends. He started flirting again, turning up the heat, lit up some fire. His father he cant replace. Neither do his brother, for he has 2 of those. But wife he can find. 

He met a lady. Just like him, she has 3 kids- two boys and one girl. The condolences turned into a deep conversations and they started dating. He began to understand her life. She was abused by her husband that cannot control his temper. But the husband is no longer in her picture. Now she was struggling to raise up three kids on her own. She needed help. And this man came just like a saviour, sent from above. 

Slowly, he started to neglect his own children, whom all three yearning for his attention. He diverted his undivided attention to what is not his to concern with. He started to care about a husband-less lady, along with 'their' children. Spending his time, providing the needs, trying to be 'the' father figure. Well, his experience really helped him. 

And what about his own, you may ask. They are slowly fading away from the picture. He might not realise, but he is abandoning them, for three new cubs. "They are just your burden now, no longer your responsibility.. let alone your priority.." his inner voice speaks. 

"My children are all grown ups now, unlike yours. They can look after themselves now, unlike yours. They are more than capable of doing that, unlike yours. So with you I will stay. Your children need the love of a father. I am not abandoning them, it is despicable. I will keep on sending money, I will visit them once in awhile." he said to her. 

Finally, he made up his mind, taking the decision that isnt that hard for him to do. He left his children fatherless, trying to be the father for fatherless children. Confusing, I know but shocking? Not really. 

I once knew a man. As a daughter, this is the man that I looked up to. He was my first hero, my benchmark for my future husband. "He would never break my heart" how naive of me. Funny thing is that,  he was the man, I once knew. 

Now I cannot help but wondering. Why did he left? Why did a man such as himself do such things? What happened to 'solat mampu mencegah kemungkaran' when he still prays and commit sins? I know that this is my test, and I accept, but if He is the most Merciful, why cant He showed us, the parentless children a sprinkle of mercy...?